Over-Analyzed

A New Blog.

2010-05-17T21:24:00.002-04:00

I have created a new blog specifically for comics and music. That will probably be my primary blog from here on in, so update your bookmarks/rss. ALL of you.

https://krefted.wordpress.com/

Comics

2010-05-11T19:57:00.004-04:00

I bought some graph paper a while back, and from time to time I use it to draw little comics. I'll post them every so often. Here are a bunch. This batch was all drawn on March 1.

Interview with Neil "The Real Deal" O'Neill

2010-02-15T12:11:00.003-05:00

That's right, internet. It is time for my exclusive interview with pro-wrestler and humanitarian Neil "The Real Deal" O'Neill!!

Over-Analyzed: What is your favorite marine animal?
Neil O'Neill: Depends on how I feel. Usually a seal or eel.

OA: You are a well known lover of music. Vinyl or CD?
NO: Actually, I prefer reel to reel.

OA: What is your favorite television show?
NO: Tie. "Deal or No Deal" and "Ally McBeal".

OA: Who is your favorite professional athlete?
NO: Used to be Paul O'Neill, but now it's Shaquille O'Neal.

OA: Isn't that a bit unfair to just choose athletes with basically your last name?
NO: Doesn't feel like a big deal.

OA: Fair enough. It's time for our Lightning Round! One word answers only! Favorite color?
NO: Teal.

OA: Favorite religious attribute?
NO: Zeal.

OA: Favorite metal?
NO: Steel.

OA: Favorite action if someone is hurt?
NO: Heal.

OA: Favorite car part?
NO: Wheel.

OA: Favorite part of the banana?
NO: Peel.

OA: Favorite French name?
NO: Gilles.

OA: Favorite meat?
NO: Veal.

OA: Favorite body part?
NO: Heel.

OA: Favorite pose?
NO: Kneel.

OA: Good stuff. Way to handle the lightning round. Very informative. Well, thanks so much for granting us this exclusive interview, Neil! Best of luck in the future.
NO: It's been real.

There you have it. Here is a sneak peak from next week's interview with Neil's arch-nemesis, "True Blue" Stew Carew:

"Shoe."

See you next week!

Live bloggin reading Zack's blog

2010-01-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

My friend Zack just moved his blog to a new host and changed to a funnier name. Last week he live blogged the last sip of a hot chocolate. I was going to live blog my reaction to his pictures, but instead I'll just show you the pictures I would have used.

What's going on here? I am intrigued...

Oh my god, will he enjoy this sip?
Will he burn his tongue? Oh my god!

Relief! My friend pretty much enjoyed
his hot chocolate, plus did not get burned.
Enjoy your day friend.

Read his website on the internet. It is funnier and more frequently updated than mine.

Happy New Year

2010-01-08T21:26:00.002-05:00

I think this is funny.

Via Wikipedia, this is a list of the charges against Richard Reid (aka Shoe-bomber aka world-class asshole and Al-Qaeda operative). See if you can find the funny one:

I. Attempted Use of Weapon of Mass Destruction
II. Attempted Homicide
III. Placing an Explosive Device on Aircraft
IV. Attempted Murder
V. Interference with Flight Crew and Attendants
VI. Attempted Destruction of an Aircraft
VII. Using a Destructive Device During and in Relation to a Crime of Violence
VIII. Attempted Wrecking of a Mass Transportation Vehicle

He was found guilty of all charges and sentenced to life in a super maximum security prison. So. Yes. 12.5% of the reason that the infamous shoe-bomber, enemy of freedom and would-be destroyer of human life, is imprisoned for life, is that his actions got in the way of the work of flight attendants.

The fact that they even bothered with this charge in the face of everything else he did and planned really made me laugh. There is very little else to say about this.

Drag Racing

2009-10-27T11:33:00.002-04:00

Whenever drag racing comes up, I get angry because I think it is a stupid thing to watch and care about. It seems absolutely arbitrary and is the antithesis of sport.

Then I read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drag_racing

Not only did it fail to enlighten what might be redeeming about drag racing, it added to my theory of arbitrariness. I don't think anyone really knows why one car goes faster than another. There is something about "sticky tires" and something about "nitrous tanks". But really, does it matter how sticky your fucking tires are if the guy next to you has twice as must nitrous in his tank? Even the restrictions I'm sure are in place are arbitrary. "That much nitrous would make this race ridiculous. Don't even go there, drag racers."

I guess what I really dislike about it is the fact that it is a sport between two drag racers. It should really just be more of a scientific endeavor - who can build the fastest damn car ever? Not, who can consistently do the best wind sprints in a car that goes faster than a spaceship?

Stupid.

A conversation.

2009-06-25T11:45:00.002-04:00

"He's a growing boy, he needs his protein!" said the anthropomorphic cartoon jar of peanut butter, emphasizing his point by slapping his anthropomorphic cartoon bottle of jelly across the face again. He was justifying his place of dominance in their sandwiches.

For the fifth time this month, the bottle of jelly secretly vowed to leave her abusive husband, but the truth was that she had a tough psychological life which made her more sexually attracted to him the more brutal he was. The sandwiches they made were just too good to leave him. But she made empty threats anyway.

"I know about you and that young anthropomorphic cartoon plastic squeeze bottle of strawberry jam from your office, why don't you go off and made your easy sandwiches together you bastard!"

"Maybe I will!" said the jar of peanut butter, who then stormed out the door and slammed it behind him.

"He'll be back," she whispered. "Grape jelly is the best thing for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." Even though it was true, it rang false in her ears and as she sobbed herself to sleep in their anthropomorphic cartoon pantry-house, she could envision of the sounds of strawberry jam being spread over her husband's body by a tired housewife before her children went to school.

The end

NOTE Domestic violence is not funny unless it's done by anthropomorphic cartoon food. Also, what the hell is wrong with me?

LeVar Burton

2009-06-16T13:37:00.002-04:00

I was thinking of doing a joke about LeVar Burton's career, like "Mr. Burton, you've been in at least 2 tv shows. Which 2 roles would you like to be remembered for?" Then he'd say "Star Trek and Reading Rainbow." This was a joke on how he was only in 2 things. Then I saw that he was basically the main guy in "Roots" back in the day, and I felt like an asshole. Sorry, LeVar. Your career has some credibility.

Misunderstood?

A daytime story.

2009-05-15T11:11:00.004-04:00

(Ed. Apologies to feminists for assuming gender. It makes this story easier.)

Today I was working and I heard a rustling like paper bags in the bedroom. I turn off the music and listen. There it is again! I go check out the bedroom, look inside, take a scan of the room, and see nothi.....oh wait. That's a sparrow. Perching on a shoebox. Inside my apartment.

Two questions hit me at this point - how did this bird get inside my completely-blocked-to-the-outside-world-I-mean-not-even-a-window-open apartment, and now how do I get it out. On a suggestion from the father-in-law, I put the cat in the bathroom, throw open the front and back doors, and try to scare the poor little guy the fuck out of my apartment.

Using a box (I use logic in crisis, not a "broom"), I managed to scare it directly into my closet, where it promptly got squished between a plastic bag full of stuff and the back wall. I tried to use the box to trap the bird and the bag at once, but I guess I moved the bag around a little too much and the bugger went under the bed. This is where I lost him for 5 minutes. After a bunch of snooping around with a flashlight, I found him sitting quietly (he was extremely petrified) next to Jess' bedside table. I proceed to take a candle out of our hurricane glassware, and scoop his little hollow-boned ass into his temporary cage. This is what he looked like:

So I dumped him outback, where he fluttered around for a little while, then settled down in a puddle of dirty water, where he has been sitting ever since, completely in shock, unable to face the world.

Goodbye forever, bird.

what if

2009-04-12T18:34:00.003-04:00

what if being in a band was like being on a major league baseball team, and instead of having to book your own shows and beg and scrape to get new people to show up, a multi-billion dollar organization designed a yearly schedule for you and, on your worst nights, 8,000 would come see you dick around in a huge stadium.

think about this ok?

2009-03-12T18:01:00.002-04:00

LANGUAGE PARADOX

When people say "'nuff said" or "enough said", doesn't that negate the fact that enough has already been said? Isn't saying "'nuff said" really just a way of making a point that you didn't think was quite inherent to the information you just presented? What I'm getting at is, if there really ever was 'nuff said, no one would ever say "'nuff said" because the fact that the point spoke for itself would be so clear that it would require no further comment - "'nuff said" included.

In other news, Roger Federer knocked up some lady I think. Congrats Fed.

i have a job.

2009-02-27T14:25:00.003-05:00

blogs are a place where you can twitter about things that are longer than what you can normally put in twitter. you couldn't fit this post into twitter, which is why i'm blogging instead of twittering.

quiz
what is twitter used for?
tiny blogs is the answer.

happy friday.

a video

2009-01-12T14:56:00.003-05:00

It seems like a lot of my friends are doing this, so I'll try my hand, fans.

Watch my video.

Manny?

2008-12-18T08:56:00.001-05:00

Usually, Manny Ramirez sends unpublished chapters of his autobiography to my friend's blog, but for some reason he sent one over here today. Oh, Manny. (ed. Zack's blog is really great, you should read it, it is so great, he's the one that came up with Manny Ramirez, he invented the baseball player on his blog.)

Chapter 100

It is 4:13 AM, 100 years in the future. It is a world without Manny Ramirez, yet I am there to see it. I stop at a toy store, to look in at a child. He wants a toy, but his mother is not letting him get that toy. I think it is a plastic gun, but I don't get a good look. His mother's rejection passed through the boy, and instead, Manny Ramirez feels rejected. I need to move on.

The next place I stop is a home. There is a spider's web on the outside of the home. I brush it away with disgust. I should never have stopped at this filthy home.

As the sun crests the hills of this suburban town, I feel my body dissolving, like water in a desert. I float into the air, a million pieces of Manny Ramirez overlooking the countryside. We float from town to town, seeing the same world from a million different angles. We, Manny Ramirez.

It is too long since we have ranged this far. Too long since we have hunted. We are Manny Ramirez, and each one of us could hit 55 home runs in a season.

Music Blogs

2008-12-16T15:20:00.001-05:00

I have created what a music blog is like in my head, but on the internet! Check it out, and see if it is accurate.

Rudy says Please listen to me.

2008-12-03T09:13:00.002-05:00

Hey. Guy. Buddy. Give me another chance. No, I really felt like you gave me a raw deal on Monday! I'm more than just a guy who doesn't know what INTERNET is. (What does that stand for anyway? Man, I'll never understand it!) That's just what you asked me to do here. This is all your fault! You ask me here to talk about how little Blog I understand, and then just write me off because it didn't pan out the way you'd hoped! Well, sir, let me tell you a little biography about me, Rudy.

My name is Rudy, and while it is true that I have never understood INterNET, there are many other things I haven't understood over my55-year life. Love, seasonal change, the causes of the Civil War, why U2 is so famous, how they make towels, recycled paper, batteries, what butter is, tectonic plates, time-lapse photography, the non-visible parts of the electromagnetic spectrum, how they make all the pages in the magazines stay there without all falling out all over the place, rubber bands - this is just a small list of things that I don't understand!

My life is just a long list of missed experiences and inability to care about things long enough to learn what's actually happening in the world. This is why I am a businessman from the 70's, when all you needed to be successful was a father who was a businessman in the 50's. I don't understand the money that I exchange withe other businessmen, I don't understand how stocks work, all I know is that sometimes I get on the phone with someone who has put their business card into my hand and say a bunch of jargon, and somehow that means that I get paid. The money I make mainly goes towards magazines - I can't get enough of magazines! I like all the pictures, and I don't at ALL understand anything about how they are made.

I am Rudy, and this is my life. I have over 2000 magazine subscriptions.

December

2008-12-01T07:45:00.004-05:00

I know what you guys are thinking: "Wow, it's been a while since that last post, bro. You must be into some serious type stuff." I say, to you guys: "No. I am just lazy. I'm literally home in front of the computer almost all the time, I just don't have the energy to think of something clever." You guys are now thinking: "Oh."

So here is my triumphant return - a new feature! It is called "Mondays with Rudy." Let's welcome Rudy.

Hello, Blog! I have heard a lot of things about you in the Wall Street Journal. I have, even, invested a modest amount of my wealth into Technology Stocks, which benefit Blog directly, in terms of money. That is, I have given you money on Blog.

I will tell you the truth. I do not know what Blog really means. This is why I am here. I think I have a fundamental misunderstanding of how Technology even in general works, per se. So I want the Intranet (is that the same as Blog Internet?) to go easy on me, and let me learn very slowly. I am writing this letter to Nick, hoping that he can convert it to Blog.

Okay Rudy. You are not being very funny today. You are a crappy premise. Of course you don't understand the Internet, you are a businessman from the 70's. You didn't grow up with it, and you don't have children, so you'll never really understand it. I get it. How much comedy can we draw from you confusing "Internet" and "Blog" anyway. Whatever, Rudy. We'll see if you're still around on Monday.

Fantasy books

2008-11-13T11:23:00.003-05:00

Why come in fantasy and sci-fi books, authors ruin otherwise interesting worlds by naming things the dumbest thing they can think of? I am reading a pretty good fantasy book right now, but in order to portray that things aren't the way they were on earth (the book is set on a fantasy world colony of earth) normal items have dumb prefixes to constantly remind you that you're not reading about earth. Unhorse? Alteroak? Neocount? Neoqueen?

Stop using dumb words just keep telling me about your awesome magic system and story dammit.

From the Desk of Cl. and Sp. Notes, Bros. at Large

2008-11-10T10:56:00.002-05:00

I just got the internet letter from two imaginary people. Read it!

Dear Mr. N. Notes,

You should know what we understand what it is you are said to doing in our name. You should also know that it is our name and that is how we get away with it. Notes, I mean. Our name is Notes. That is how we avoid not only lawsuits but vigilante murders by ourselves, if you know what I'm getting at.

(Note: What Notes means here is simply that he is threatening Nick for using the family name. The language here indicates that there is an underlying reason for Notes' anger - namely, that his business is now in trouble due to Nick's superb emulation of the Notes' style of book-shortening.)

Whoops that was my instinct just kicking in. Anyway, cease and desist right now or else there will be consequences.

With promises of legal and/or vigilante action,

Cliff Notes, Brother at Large.

PS I loved your work on Moby-Dick!

Do not worry gentle readers, I am not intimidated by fake characters coming to life and unleashing their baseless legal action on me.

It wouldn't be the first time, and I did fine for myself last time. Stay tuned.

A Scene

2008-11-10T10:47:00.003-05:00

Midnight - The Offices of the Notes Brothers, Cliff and Spark

Cliff: Spark, I'm almost done removing the beauty and grace from the latest Cormac McCarthy so that students can get good grades without doing any work.

Spark: Would you just shut up Cliff! First! Don't state our mission so openly, do you want to get us killed? Second! Some internet asshole just made his own version of us!

Cliff: I'm sure it's nothing, don't overreact like you always do to everything.

Spark: Would you just come over here and read it DAMMIT!

Cliff moseys over and reads Nick's Notes on Moby Dick.

Cliff: Damn, this guy's good. If we don't act, he could ruin our empire. It's like he sees right through us.

Spark: You know what to do Cliff. Just what Father Notes taught us. Take no prisoners.

TO BE CONTINUED

Moby-Dick Spoiler Alert!

2008-11-10T10:11:00.003-05:00

(Side-question - do you need to say spoiler alert when the book came out 157 years ago? I think that's a long enough grace period, but anyway.)

Welcome to this edition of Nick's Notes - Moby Dick!

(Apologies to Cliff's Notes and Spark Notes, please don't sue me okay?)

Call me Ishmael. I assume you know a lot about the Bible and mythology? Good. I wanted to go to sea some time ago, so I found a pagan named Queequeg to ship off with. We formed a strangely homoerotic relationship that doesn't quite resurface until the very end, and then only in metaphor. Anyway, we both wanted to go to sea, so we went on this boat and there was this eloquently crazy captain who didn't even come on deck for like a few months. But then he did come out and he only had one leg! The other was a whale bone or something.

Ahab (the captain with one leg) told us that a whale had bitten the other leg off, and that we were hunting that one whale (Moby Dick). Ahab bound the crew to this through a near-religious ceremony. This was all recounted with great prose by me, Ishmael.

Then I decided to explain every aspect of the whaling industry in a pretty awesome way, every now and then injecting some story into it.

We met some other boats, and asked them all if they knew where this crazy whale was, and only a couple had heard of him. Oh man, then the story really ramps up at the end, when I finish explaining all the whaling stuff and it's just story. I say some Biblical metaphors. Queequeg gets sick and almost dies, and gets the carpenter to build him a coffin, but then Queequeg gets better and we decide to use the coffin for a life-buoy after we waste on of our life-buoys on some guy who fell off the boat and died. Then with like 20 pages left, we see Moby Dick. He kicks the boat's ass completely for three whole days, and at the end everyone but me dies because he completely shatters our boat. I float to safety on Queequeg's coffin. Contemporary literary criticism is mixed, but eventually most people who read my book like it a lot.

Congratulations! You've just heard a retelling of Moby Dick which takes out all the beautiful language and complex metaphors and imagery and humor! That is not at all what the book is like, which is why Cliff's Notes and Spark Notes should go out of business.

RIP Pequod

2008-11-08T22:29:00.002-05:00

Finished up Moby Dick this morning, and I'm still processing it. I think I will be for some time, actually. It is not a tale that you easily forget. Every page is so drenched with meaning that one could think about it for the rest of one's life. I'm sure there are people like this, because one way to describe this thing is Biblical. A story of revenge, morality, history, retribution, and the multi-faceted realities of human nature.

It is beyond comprehension the first time 'round. It is simultaneously a very simple story and an extremely complex epic. I'm proud of myself for getting through it, and I'm sure I will do it again when I'm ready.

On Monday, Jess and I are going out to our alma mater with our recently-booked wedding photographer to do what's called an engagement session, even though we've been engaged for over a year. It's really more a chance to get some good professional pictures of ourselves in a more casual setting, to get used to being the center of attention in front of a camera, and to maybe get some pictures we can use for wedding stuff. It helps that we negotiated the price a bit and essentially got this upcoming session for free. Should be fun to document our enjoyment of each other.

I guess this may not be the place for this - such a place exists elsewhere on the internet - but there it is.

Oh and I got a haircut at an actual place for like the first time in 5 years. Evidently my haircut is modeled after Cary Grant. Whatever. I am clean cut for a change, and I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

November Time

2008-11-07T12:29:00.004-05:00

Well November has been looking up. It's a month of things to come for me, not a month of in-the-present rewards. I've had a couple job interviews, but no offers. A potentially great president has been elected, but has not been sworn in. Band is writing and performing, in hopes of building momentum. I would like to say the joy is in the search but it's only true for the band. Not having a job sucks a little more every day. Pretty soon, it's applications to Borders, Barnes and Noble, Whole Foods, what have you, just to break even until something else comes along.

Almost done with Moby Dick. Really getting good now. It was good before, but now it's becoming something else entirely.

The "new" Dylan is awesome. I've been listening to the man for about 3 days straight, mostly the recent stuff, but this man is not going anywhere.

Everyone (ie my bandmate and my fiancee, and a couple of my friends) come to out show on Wednesday, ok?

Questionne

2008-10-30T10:44:00.002-04:00

Q: Why isn't dog litter a thing?*

A: Because any creature that eats its own poop, realizes what it tastes like, then eats its own poop again cannot care too much about the cleanliness of poop.

*I know that it exists, but it is not widely used, nor will it ever be.

In sports news, THE HORNETS BEAT THE WARRIORS!!! 1-0 baby!

To Sophie

2008-10-29T10:33:00.007-04:00

I've got a cat on my lap. She is sleeping when she is not trying to eat my fingers.

Can't you see I need these fingers to type to everyone I know, Cat? No, you are asleep, and you have no idea what a blog even is. You just know how to yell whenever you enter or leave a room and eat. You are a lazy hunter, and that is why you are gaining weight. Because you don't like to run after the cat toy. You just sleep all day, then all night, eat, and you never want to chase your toy. I didn't want to say it - none of us did - but we think it's time for you to go on a diet of Diet Cat Food.

But that is for another day. For now you are sleeping like an adorable Cat Angel on my lap, and you get a free pass for being lazy, because you are so cute and precious.

The Cat candle burns at both ends, Sophie, and I am powerless.

TGIM

2008-10-27T14:15:00.002-04:00

You heard me right. It's Monday, and Thank God It's. The last week of this Month of our Lord October. Every day is like Friday when you don't have a job, except you don't get paid every day like you do on Friday, if you get paid every week, and payday is Friday.

Got this house party coming up on Friday, then we have to get ready real quick for our real show in 2.5 weeks.

This bores me, plus I've already said it in the blog.

I was thinking that the blog might be the ideal form for me since I rarely have any creative ideas that last more than a couple paragraphs before I don't know where to take them anymore. I've finished one short story in the last 3 years, and it's 4.5 pages long. I think writing songs suits me better, cuz there's only like 3 or 4 minutes to worry about then it's over. It's a more manageable length of time. I don't understand how people write novels.

Only about 100 pages left in Moby-Dick, or The Whale. Just leafing through and looking at some of the chapter titles, it's looking like Melville is trying to get all the exposition in before getting to the final actions. It's actually really exciting to read, like he wants to include all this informational stuff about whaling but he is growing a bit impatient himself and wants to reach his glorious encounter.

Another thing that might stop people from reading the book is this: Not too much happens, but it's very long. Thus, the language to describe the action must be very dense. It's intimidating. It's not like The Old Man and the Sea, where not a lot happens and it's not very long, and the language is very direct. It's very easy to lose yourself while reading Moby-Dick, and, in thinking about a certain sentence, completely gloss over a page before you realize you haven't processed what you've read. An altogether interesting reading experience.

This post (not funny) was brought to you by a bored unemployed man.

The Road

2008-10-24T18:25:00.002-04:00

Just hunkered down for the day and read The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Bleak, post-apocalyptic, at times downright frightening, and pretty damn amazing. Right up my alley, really. The best part of humanity struggling in the face of all odds imaginable, including the worst part of humanity. Really amazing. More grit, resourcefulness, and will than I have, for sure.

Anyway, as if Oprah's recommendation hasn't sold it to you all, I'm throwing in mine as well. Watch as the sales boom.

Jobs

2008-10-22T16:25:00.002-04:00

Just had an interview here.

More as it develops.

Did I tell you guy(s?) that the band is playing here on November 12?

Whatever!

Question of the Day

2008-10-21T11:42:00.002-04:00

Q: How many brides who shared names with the women listed in Lou Bega's Mambo #5 played that song at their wedding in 1999/2000 and got too excited when he said their name?

A: Quite a few, I'd guess.

On a side note, I bet Lou Bega is a goddamn creep.

Revelation

2008-10-20T13:45:00.003-04:00

Look closely at this picture of former Soviet dictator Josef Stalin:

Now take a look at 1/2 of Mr. Show, comedian Bob Odenkirk:
Now look at my poor photoshop skills - do you see what I see?They kind of look like each other!

The trip to the career lady went ok. No real leads. Looks like I actually have to try to find a job still. Damn.

My Career!

2008-10-20T07:50:00.003-04:00

This morning I am meeting with the career office at my old college to try to get my work life in order. What I expect from this meeting:

ME: So, this economy is pretty much boned, can you find a job that I like that requires my specific skill set?

THE LADY AT THE CAREER OFFICE: I hear there is an opening for Vomit-After-Too-Much-Free-Cheese Cleaner at the Whole Foods near you?

So those are pretty low expectations.

In all seriousness, though, I don't know what this woman is going to tell me, but I can only hope it's stuff that I haven't already been doing. That would be disheartening.

THE LADY AT THE CAREER OFFICE: Yeah your best bet is just to check craigslist like a fiend and apply for anything you're qualified for, and some stuff that you're not.

ME: (Aside) Dammit.

I'll keep you posted.

Fall Time

2008-10-19T11:28:00.004-04:00

It is fall here, first fall in three years for this guy, and it feels great. The lady just made up a delicious breakfast of French toast that is already feeling like an awesome lifelong recipe for comforting days.

Let's see if I can find an interesting picture to put up. On my blog.

Here's a good one:

Jess and I went to Maui with her parents a couple years ago, and this is me and her watching the sunset from the condo we stayed at. Awesome.

Here is another sunset, this time from a restaurant we were eating at. Maui again. Awesome again.

Hmm. Those pictures don't have anything to do with fall. Let's see.

Here we go. Sort of. On the way to my bro's rehearsal dinner in Massachusetts. We missed peak leaf season by a couple weeks, but it still felt good.

This post is not funny. Too bad. Deal with it.

Finished the game

2008-10-13T15:22:00.001-04:00

Just finished the whole stupid game.

You can see how he leans forward to land the jump.

My ass is still asleep.

Another follow up

2008-10-13T15:17:00.002-04:00

Oh would you look at that, I could have turned the bad music off at any point. Now I can race through this junkyard listening to The Band.

Follow up post.

2008-10-13T15:15:00.001-04:00

dammit i hate when the "difficulty" of a bad game is based on not being able to tell the background of the game from the actual playing area so you crash your hummer into a brick wall that you thought you were driving past dammit.

I will never ride a motorcycle in real life.

2008-10-13T15:07:00.003-04:00

Okay so I play all those awful 2D side scrolling "Motorcycle" or "Offroad" or "Truckyard" or whatever games on addicting games. Like this one. Anyway, I play them all, I am playing one right now, and I really don't know why I play them all. They are so bad, the music is so bad. I guess something about the physics (sort of) of landing tricks in a motorcycle makes sense to me, even when applied completely unnessarily to hummers and jeeps and stuff.

Lean forward to land that trick!

I was also really into this game for a long time, and in fact it is a great game. Oh shit no way Wikipedia says there's a sequel, maybe that's what I was into. Or I have to buy it. No I was definitely into the sequel never mind.

My cat has taken two naps on my lap today while I've been on the computer and both times my ass has fallen asleep because I don't want to move and wake her up.

Back to bad offroad in-browser games peace.

The Best* Post Ever

2008-10-11T21:05:00.005-04:00

I've spent at least 11 days crafting this fantastic post I'm about to drop on you guys

Ready?

#%error%#

#%there_has_been_an_error_you_guys!%#

#%it_seems_like_nick_got_a_bit_drunk_a_bit_too_
early_in_the_night_and_is_now_going_to_spend_
time_with_his_lady_before_turning_in_too_early_
for_a_saturday%#

What was that?

On a separate note, did you guys see that blogger now understands what default font means? I'm in Courier now without having to do anything!

Great! Another trip to the ol' orchard today, delicious goddamn cider.

Adios.

*maybe not the best in history, but pretty good right?

Why isn't it spelled FARVE?

2008-09-30T18:51:00.004-04:00

I would like Ray's house to be a real place, where I could always want to go and grill it up, enjoy a couple of beers in the sunshine, go swimming, and cap off the day at 2 am by watching Braveheart. Onstad you have really created something fantastic.

Unemployed day 1:
Got up at 6am to see my lady off to work, at some breakfast, tidied my desk up some, watched an ep of Stella, consolidated some bank accounts, bought some delicious sausage at Reading Terminal Market, applied to 3 jobs, played a little bit of fake risk in Middle Earth, finished watching Pan's Labyrinth for the first time, did some dishes, got irrationally angry about some things, calmed down, made delicious dinner using the delicious sausage, watched an ep of Arrested Development, wrote a blog post.

New section of the blog! It is called "Moby Dick Pages of the Day" (MDPD)! It is a chronicle of how many pages of Moby Dick I read since last time I blogged. Today's number is uncertain, probably like 4 or 5 before bed last night.

My brother is getting married on Saturday.

Sharing is Caring.

2008-09-29T19:00:00.003-04:00

Here is a video I think you'll love!

There it is!

In honor of this man I will do a caption ok?

Flowers: If we reach out farther we can gently wake him up and tell him we love him.
Backpack strap: Back off this is my man he is my man!
Flowers: You never loved him! We will care for his needs!
Backpack strap: Back off or I will kill you!
Flowers: We have just talked to each other and find your manly bravado much more appealing than that guy's alcoholism - will you sleep with us?
Backpack strap: Ok cool I hope you guys don't mind some pencils and all that weird dust that happens at the bottom of a bookbag. That is my house I am sorry for the shape it is in the maid was supposed to come.

"Intolerable Allegory"

2008-09-29T18:36:00.003-04:00

Ok, right?

So I am writing, unpaid, for this music magazine and I am doing an interview with a man from this band on Thursday. This is a strange process, because, though they might not be my cup of tea, they are certainly a band that is enjoyed by folks. My strategy in preparing for this interview has been to try and take the band at completely face value and try to evaluate the music on its own level, within the context of its genre, to try and understand how it fits in the grand scheme of things. I've been able to do this a little bit, and I'm hoping the interview goes ok. More info as it comes and linx to the article when it's up.

Oh man I also don't have a job! This is great because people are just throwing money and jobs around these days. This will not be a blog about a man who is upset that he doesn't have some job. There are men like this every place, maybe women too.

Instead this blog is about. I don't know. This is the main struggle of a man with a blog and no purpose. Oh! This is a blog about a man who doesn't have a job who also doesn't know what his blog is all about! That is interesting to complain about because of its complexity of things the man doesn't have or know about.

Moby Dick is still very great, looks like I have some time on my hands to really read the shit. I'll probably just end up watching movies like an asshole though.

Oh Well Goodbye!

Oh man.

2008-09-22T19:08:00.002-04:00

So I am completely listening to "Powderfinger" by Neil Young. You should also be listening to this song, right now. Considering that I am by far the person who looks at my blog the most, I will follow my own instructions. Wow, Nick, this song is really great, thanks for the recommendation. This is great.

I turned 25 two days ago. Just so you know. Even though you already do know, as you're me.

Also, I just got an email back from this Philadelphia music mag who might want me to write for them, without monetary compensation. I am down. Experience is experience, and it would be sick to be the best music journalist eventually, right? Anyway, I'm talking to them this week, I (me) will let you (me) know what happens.

Here is a picture.

It is of where I am getting married. Have a nice day.

Farewell to Henry. Plus, Fall!

2008-09-15T18:07:00.001-04:00

So the final rally of Henry Truman's 2008 campaign for the seat of City Co-Chair has come to its downbeat and very bizarre conclusion. Show 3 was by far the least well-attended, and once again we were plagued by people sitting down. It didn't help that we were a bit giddy from three weeks of nearly identical shows, and were laughing a bit more and stretching out the awkward moments, thereby alienating the few souls who chose to stand. It went out with a strange whimper rather than a bang, but in many ways was the funniest of the three shows. Anyway, here's a couple photos to document the evening:

The best back-to-back-to-back of all three shows.

Moody.

So ends the current saga of Henry Truman.  I fully expect that the man will be back at some point, at some unspecified date in the future.  That's the kind of man he seems like to me.

It's getting on fall-time, my favorite time of year, which I have missed so sorely being in California these past couple years.  So I'm trying to spring on every opportunity this area gives me to experience the glory of Autumn.  So it was that, yesterday, though it was a sticky 94 degrees outside, the lady and I trekked out to Linvilla Orchards to get a bit of farm air and some fresh vegetables.  Oh yes, and delicious delicious apple cider:

Tiny, but effective.

It was really necessary to get out of the city for a while.  Lame as it sounds, it was a centering experience.  I feel more focused on all fronts, eager to face the future with a renewed sense of purpose.  I think this city gets me into a cycle of stagnation and sameness, and maybe regular trips out of its borders and into some greenery, where you can see the sky unhindered and can smell things other than pavement and garbage, can really do a man good.  That is my hypothesis, and I'm excited to test it.

Here is the result of the fresh vegetable shopping.  We also picked up a couple of decorative pumpkins and gourds, and settled down for a nice, fresh, delicious dinner.

Delicious, grillicious sandwiches.

Very few things are better than fresh, grilled zucchini. That is all.

Henry Truman, Mark 2. Also, more Dick.

2008-09-08T19:48:00.000-04:00

Another round of the Henry Truman show this weekend. Can I just say how much better it was than last week. Last time 'round, everyone was sitting and most people were well past drunk. This killed energy. This time we set it up so that maybe 35-40 people could be standing, and the difference was night and day. We had also tightened the story-line a bit so it was a more cohesive show, but the standing-room decision was maybe the smartest initiative in the whole campaign. We played better because people were more immediately involved in what was happening on stage. This made the audience more excited, and created an escalating-energy-feedback-loop.

Here are a couple pictures of the night:

Singin' 'bout Henry.

Baseball, y'all. Baseball.

If everyone that read this tells just one person to come on Friday for the finale, then 2 people will come next week. That is a lot! Of people I mean!

Also we are getting a dude we knew in college to film the shows, so hopefully there will be some sort of DVD/web video of this epic campaign rally. More on this when it maybe happens.

A word or two on Moby Dick and the Pequod Cadets.

I am now in the chapter called "Cetology", which is essentially Melville's attempt to inject some knowledge into his Great American Novel. He's teaching us all about different sorts of whales and what they mean to the whaling community and to the world at large. I've given myself over completely to the Moby Dick experience, and this primes me to be very interested in sections like this. It may look on the surface like dry, encyclopaedic writing, but, though it is primarily an informational section, Melville still has a sweeping drama in his prose that shines through here. Like the rest of the book thus far, it is a really strange mixture of seemingly discordant elements. "Beautiful reference" is a phrase I had never thought of before.

Also, Melville's slow introduction of Ahab is really really really great. Can't wait til he busts out with a grand speech.

Anywho, enjoy your [length of time until my next post]. More Sex Piano news as it develops.

We doin' this!

2008-09-01T12:03:00.000-04:00

Okay, "all"... September is a month of rebirth. Here goes.

First of all, I forgive this man for stealing my name and actually doing a blog with it. Turns out his blog is much better than mine, and also has more to do with his title than mine ever did...plus it can actually be called a "blog", whereas mine is basically a place where sometimes I say I am about to go out to dinner when I feel dumb for not having bothered to write anything for a whole month. So Kudos, enjoy all the traffic that I never deserved.

You may recall a while back that I said something about a band I was in - I am still in this band. We just kicked off our tenure as a live band in Philadelphia with a highly ambitious, multimedia project revolving around a fake politician. The first of three shows was a success, and hopefully next week's will be even better. Here are three pictures from the evening:

I like them best left unexplained.

GEAR SHIFT

I recently started reading this book, and now I find myself always wanting to read it.

I'm on Chapter 15 of 135, about 50 pages in. Some thoughts.

I'd always just assumed this book was really hard to read. It's long, and any time it was brought up, there was a mysterious aura around it, as if the world was saying "Don't even try it - too dense, not enough payoff." Maybe it's that first sentence that is so daunting - "Call me Ishmael." Three simple words, easy to understand, but loaded with a hundred and fifty years of literary significance and over 2000 years of biblical baggage. I suspect those three words are the most famous opening line in American literature simply because most people read them, stopped at the period, and closed the book, petrified of what could possibly lie ahead if those three words could mean so damn much.

This could be complete bullshit. It's probably more that it's a long book with a slightly older form of English than we're used to, and it takes a long time to get to the part with the whale. As I said earlier, 135 chapters, and almost all the actual whale-hunting action is in the final three, from what I can discern from the chapter titles. There's also the fact that Melville takes some very long and seemingly unrelated detours along the way to the battle with the whale - the three chapters on visual depictions of whales, and the two chapters on the shapes of whales' heads, for instance. That is enough to turn anyone off if they're not in exactly the right mood to take the trip along with Ishmael.

Fortunately for me, I was hooked after one paragraph. That first paragraph is not only wrought with rich symbolism, it speaks beautifully to the power of the ocean and is also hysterically funny. I hadn't realized just how funny the book is - I think that if I'd known how effortlessly Melville switches between very deep and moving passages and downright funny writing, I would have been more inclined to read this beast of a book.

The point is, this book is taking over my literary life. Extended meditations on the sea and its power are spectacular. The patience of the story-telling, and Melville's willingness to make the mundane fascinating, is really amazing.

The book is not about a fight with the white whale - it's about the long, complex journey to get to him.

And also about how to tell a right whale's head from a sperm whale's head.

Photoz

2008-08-09T18:05:00.000-04:00

Hey "everybody", here are some photos I just took today for some fun. The first is of my new cat, Sophie, taking a nap and wisely shielding her young eyes from harmful UV rays. The second is a grill I just put together so we can do some damn grilling these next few months. The final picture is one I like to call "The Poor Bartender" and shows the current state of our bar. We like margaritas, so that is ok with us.

Better than sunglasses.

With my own bare hands.

"The Poor Bartender"

Also, did you know that I got a temp job. And my fianceé got a real permanent job. Did you know that. Now you do. I need a real job so then we can bathe in money, an action known in some circles as "true happiness." I have never been "truly happy", so I look forward to this. Carry on.

Okay.

Waste of Time and Space

2008-07-11T18:16:00.001-04:00

July is not the month of my glorious blog rebirth. Nor is it, evidently, the month in which I get a job.
Suck.
Dinner time y'all. Dinner time.

Ponies, etc.

2008-07-01T13:52:00.000-04:00

Maybe I should write more in this blog.
Two posts in one day perhaps.
Will it ever happen?
Blog? Blogging? To have blogged?

Here is a picture of a pony: Yay!

Thought of the day: Someday, that cool pony will have already died. Will that day have already been yesterday by the time you read this?

Science will never know the answer to these pressing questions.

But I do.

That pony isn't dead probably. Yet.

Hi.

2008-07-01T10:26:00.000-04:00

It is July.

I am about to go to a job interview.

Then I will do nothing in the afternoon.

- a poem by a man that mirrors my situation exactly

Obligatory June Post

2008-06-17T08:44:00.000-04:00

Here is a post in the month of June. Now living in Philadelphia, seeing what it's like to be unemployed for a little while. Who needs income anyway right?

In band news, we have a few shows lined up in August/September for the Philly Fringe Festival. We are staging a mock political rally/rock and roll extravaganza that's sure to potentially get folks all stirred up and excited. Maybe. We're in the writing stages now, and things are starting to take shape. Foundations for 4 of 7 songs, and a good little story arc to follow. More updates when more happens, but it should be fun. And you, internet, should come see it.

Dear Internet,

2008-05-08T14:48:00.000-04:00

In two days I am moving across the country to Philadelphia, PA.

Your friend,

Nick

PS 1-10 scale - how much has this blog sucked these past few months? Two answers - 10 - it sucked not being able to read your half-formed witticisms and ideas! -or- 1 - it didn't suck at all because the internet is better off without you and your stupid blog - i bet you haven't even followed through on writing that story you were talking about.

too true

An Excerpt and a Note

2008-03-24T15:41:00.000-04:00

Here, to prove that I have been writing a very little bit, are an Excerpt from the story and a Note I wrote myself to include somewhere in the story:

Excerpt:

"leaving my neighbors to reach their shuddering climaxes without an audience"

Note:

"read the Grapes of Wrath instead of this story"

Also, now it's time for a plot twist from an unrelated story that hasn't been told, or even conceived of, at the present moment:

"Turns out the step-father had it in the closet, and had been lying about accidentally killing the dog to his step-son, whom he never really loved."

And with that, I leave you.

I have started to write a story

2008-03-19T17:07:00.000-04:00

A break from the hilarious absurdity in very short, widely-spaced bursts you've come to expect from this blog.

Jess and I had a brief conversation about religion, etc., on the ride home from work yesterday, which got me thinking about what the hell it is that I even believe. Then later she showed me a blog post about writing, with the advice of letting your guard down and just fucking writing something without too much worry of how it will be received by anyone who happens to read it.

To that end, I have started to write a short story. At the moment, I have no idea what the particulars of the story are, but that I want it to be about how damn interesting people of any and every stripe are, from the most mundane to the most extraordinary, from our potential for unquestioning good acts to our prediliction for unspeakable evil. A deeper theme will probably be that, despite all the horrid and unspeakable things we do every day, I somehow maintain great hope for humanity that cuts through all my post-modern cynicism. This hope, I'm starting to think, is as close to religious as I can come these days. People are evil twisted manipulative assholes, and isn't that great?

Anyway, now it seems I'm firing on a lot of different cylinders. Of course, music remains the "side" pursuit that excites me the most. I've also started to dabble a bit in trying to write some comedy with a particular interest in things that are filmed, and now this story. Let's see if I can't keep it all in the air somehow.

Sigh....leap year

2008-03-01T23:09:00.000-05:00

Wow, so no one really told me the reality of leap year. As you can tell, I was really excited about the prospect of, man, 24 more hours in my year! Freebee! But I really had no idea what I was getting into.

I had so many plans. I was going to have a party, for one. No one showed up. It was just me, a small keg of homebrewed beer that I named "Leapy", and a huge basket full of fried frogs legs ("leap" - get it?) Pretty disappointing, to say the least.

I was also going to carouse the streets, giving everyone what I assumed was the widespread "Leap Year Greeting." But whenever I approached someone by jumping in front of them and yelling "Hell of a day, my main man!", they seemed at best annoyed and at worse outraged. I expected the typical return greeting ("And a howdy leapy hoe to you!") but all I got were a range of sour expressions. After the fortieth or fiftieth person I greeted in such a jubilant manner, I returned home, dejected and utterly defeated.

So here is my lesson to you. Leap Year is a false holiday, maybe because it is the only practical holiday that exists. Every few years we need an extra day to knock our calendar back in order, and Leap Year serves no other purpose than make sure that our cycles stay intact. If it was just a made up holiday, like New Year's or Valentine's Day, people would probably want to celebrate it a lot more.

I guess I just expected too much out of people.

This post, and the character who wrote it, suck.

HOLY CRAP

2008-02-28T15:55:00.001-05:00

LEAP YEAR TOMORROW! This is huge! Do you know how AMAZING that is?????

I don't. I do know that our calendar would be screwed without it, though, so let's all take a moment to give some props to LEAP YEAR.

This happened recently, and was better than expected. After almost 2 years of not playing together at all, we brought it all together in a matter of days and straight-up kicked a ton of asses. Now if all goes according to plan, or even not really according to plan, we will be able to kick more tons of asses in the months to come. More on progress of that when things actually happen.

Time has passed

2008-01-29T12:29:00.000-05:00

Evidently blogging hasn't been on my things to do list in '08. Forgive my colloquialism - when I speak of " '08 ", I mean the year 2008. Apologies to anyone I have confused and driven away. Please come back.

Second season of Tim and Eric: Awesome Show, Great Job just came to a close. Success. They did it. I think they have like 20 more episodes in their contract, so we're halfway there right now.

I'm playing back through Shadow of the Colossus and BioShock simultaneously. Great games both, and there's some good literature on them out there. Spoilers, etc. Zack, if you want the end of Shadow or BioShock to have meaning, don't read these til you're done. SotC: Link Number One, Link Number Two, Link Number Three. BioShock: Only Link.

It's been a while since an interesting thought was posted on this damn thing. Does this mean I have become an idiot? I guess s

The best nature programming

2008-01-04T16:52:00.000-05:00

If only Planet Earth had a segment on this. This is a video from way back, but it is still damn cool.

BIG NEWS

2008-01-03T16:51:00.000-05:00

Someone changed all the year numbers everywhere! We don't know why this happened, we have our best investigators on the case, we are as scared as we're sure you all are.

For some reason all the dates end in 8 now.

This story is in development.

My producers are telling me I am an idiot apparently? More on this development shortly...

No that doesn't make sense, producers, the dates don't all change to 8 every year, or else I would already know about it.

Oh.

Not the 8 part, the change part. Gotcha.

Ok, apparently the numbers at the end of dates go up sequentially every few months, and this has been happening for some time.

Forever?

Then why are we only on 2008?

There are backwards numbers too?

This just in. Years are dumb, everyone. So is this post. Nothing changes.

Happy new year.

#31!

2007-12-17T14:47:00.000-05:00

This is the big 31st blog entry. Finally out of the younger years and settling into the relaxed routine of mid-life. Maybe my blog will start to settle down, consider a family, really get down to thinking about the important things in life. It's about time to put down a down payment on a beautiful suburban home, buy a lawnmower, and start looking through the phone book for a company that builds good, solid decks. This blog is thinking about the future.

But not the present. This blog is not at all concentrating on what's going on at the present or what would be interesting to write about in it. Too much thinking about great future entries, or reminiscing about earlier, more raw, and more heartfelt entries, before it had sunk into a routine that worked, but didn't quite capture the energy and enthusiasm of its youth.

This blog is at a crossroads - will it get mired down by its past, too caught up in its future, or will it concentrate on turning out good product during its present? Only time will tell what the present will hold in the future...

Muzak

2007-12-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

First off, do you like how plain and unassuming my blog is now? Pretty stupid.

So last week I was going through some old song files on my computer from when Zack and I first started fucking around and recording the results of our goofballism freshman year. I was surprised that there are a couple of workable songs in all that screaming and laughing. Prompted a discussion between Z and I about recording and arranging a few different versions of some of our songs.

Also have had discussions with Pete about our potential to really make each of our shows unique for the crowd and for ourselves. Not just through playing a solo differently or playing a different setlist, but just give a show a little extra something, whether it's a costume we wear or a song we make up on the spot or a little joke we pull or whatever. We both think this could create incentive for people to come to our show as well us keep us thinking about ways to push ourselves past the boundaries of the group a bit. Exciting stuff.

Anyway, very excited about the group's potential. ~2 months til a reunion show in February. I'm sure the 3 or 4 people actually reading this already know about it, or will shortly, but regardless they will be reading about it with increasing frequency in this space.

Enthusiastic goodbye.

Reminiscing

2007-12-06T23:39:00.000-05:00

As I stand there looking at all the dishes piling up in the sink, on every counter, and on the stove, I remember the post-dinner routine when I was 12 or 13. I looked forward to cleaning the dishes, not because of the actual cleaning, but because of the accompaniment.

My parents gave me and my brother the chore of scrubbing all the pots and pans clean, I can only assume, in the hopes that we would acquire a good cleaning ethic. But we both hated it, so we'd pop a tape into the kitchen tape machine and listen to music to lessen the boredom and wasted time of washing dishes.

Without the music, it might have taken us 15 minutes to finish all the dishes. Because of the music, it usually took us between an hour and an hour and a half. The music in question was either a bootleg of the Allman Brothers at Woodstock '94, or some mix tape that had 'Freebird' on it.

Both of us have a natural talent for air guitar. We should probably start an air band and tour. This is what kept us in the kitchen all that time. 'Freebird' on repeat, 10 straight minutes of dual air guitar, over and over, with a few dishes scrubbed while the tape rewound, or while the slow first half played, until all the dishes were clean.

'Freebird' was the only reason to do those dishes. So now when dishes pile up, and I sit on my lazy ass in front of a computer, wishing I had 'Freebird' on a tape somewhere so I could get them done.

Hope you like numbers.

2007-12-05T17:58:00.001-05:00

Finally done with Final Fantasy XII. Story wore a bit thin, but the cinematics and the gameplay are pretty spectacular. Now I'm hell-bent on finishing some of the older FF's, most notably IX and VIII. Also looking into III on the DS.

Also started reading Book 2 of Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series, all about time. Turns out that Chronos, the Incarnation of Time, moves backwards through life while we all move forward. I really enjoyed Book 1 (re: Death) so I'm excited about the prospects of this one.

I am bored. You don't care about what I'm writing about. Let's call it off. Be back when I'm more interesting.

Whoa!

2007-11-30T14:43:00.000-05:00

Just a quick little note here guys.

I've been getting a lot of e-mails lately asking various questions about the behind-the-scenes going on here at Over-Analyzed. First off, thanks so much for all the interest and support - really makes me feel great. Second, I honestly do try to answer each and every e-mail, but with my crazy schedule, sometimes it gets a bit hard. So my promise to you - I will do my very best to get back to you if you shoot over an e-mail, but if I don't get back to you, it's just because I'm totally swamped over here!

Thanks for understanding guys.

Hopes Dreams and Reebok

2007-11-26T12:26:00.000-05:00

Bought a little cabbie hat action this weekend. Meaning to do that for some time. I think I would like to make it one of my eccentricities when I'm older, just to have a ton of hats that I wear around all the time no matter what.

Another thing I would like is to be sponsored. Just getting money for wearing some shoes or eating a certain brand of potato chip in public, that seems like it would be a fun way to earn cash. That scene from Wayne's World is about right - just to be lounging in a full Reebok track suit eating Doritos and drinking Pepsi and receiving income based on those actions. Real American Dream.

Let's see. Other things. Spending significant amounts of time in the American southwest. New Mexico beckons. Chronic dry skin says keep it to vacations, but some part of me says go there forever. Who knows what will happen, but I might as well start with some vacations from time to time.

Guys, how interesting is it to hear about what I would like to happen to me without necessarily working toward it? I'm worried that it's too interesting, and as such I think I should stop writing. Modern life only allows for so much interest in a given day - more important things than thought abound.

Whoops, this post sucks!

2007-11-19T13:46:00.000-05:00

Episode 1 of Season 2 of the Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! is up and you should watch it.

BREAKING NEWS
Thanksgiving is on Thursday. Did you know that eating is the main purpose of Thanksgiving, which makes it more directly applicable to human survival than almost any other holiday?

I think I had a thought to write about at some point, but it is gone now. That thought is gone forever.

This post is a horrible failure. Closing down production pending further ideas.

MY BLOG = YOUR FAVORITE

2007-11-15T16:00:00.000-05:00

I've recently registered myself online! On Technorati! Make me your favorite blog ever on Technorati, thus increasing my readership...we're almost over 1 million guys, you can do it!

That's all for now - keep "swingin'"!

The sound of two hands clapping, like in an old 50's song.

2007-11-12T12:51:00.000-05:00

All in all it was a pretty great weekend. The Ween concert I mentioned before was great, even if the crowd were a bunch of a-holes. They make me envious.

The Douggie storyline is coming along nicely. At least, me and Zack really like the idea. Dunno bout the rest of the band. But I'm pretty sure the base of the thing will be done before anyone can complain. First song's basically done, third song is moving right along, and I'm forming up ideas for 2 and 4. A simple but powerful tale of two orphans who separate and reunite for literally no other reason but that's what happens in movies.

BLECH! UOAHHHOUUUH! ZOUNDS!

BLBLBLBLBLBLBL! OGOGOGOGOGOGOGOG!

Writ...

2007-11-09T11:09:00.000-05:00

Many great things.

1. I guess the writer's block lifted. After work I wrote "The Ballad of Little Douggie Sweetbaum and Little Davey Wheat", which is about two orphans who eat garbage. It might be expanded into a 3 or 4 song storyline in which one of them covets too much garbage and they end up splitting from each other. I don't know, maybe one of them becomes a rich guy, then upon seeing his poor friend, decides to become poor again and eat garbage. That's just the idea I had just now, and I think it might be "the one."

2. Going to see Ween tonight. Never seen them before, and I'm looking forward to every minute of their 3-hour, no opening act show. Damn but it will be good.

3. Tim and Eric have started doing a live talk show on Super Deluxe. I'm only like 5 minutes into the first episode and I'm already a gigantic fan of it. Watch it here if you've got a half an hour which you would like to fill with joy and laughter.

Happy Friday chochachos!

...er's Block

2007-11-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

Can you guys guess what is even more fun that reading about someone who knows what they're doing and is on their game? Reading about someone who is suffering from severe creative block. In this particular blogger, this block manifests itself by allowing me to get an initial idea, then being 100% unable to expand upon that idea. For instance, I have like 5 or 6 beginnings of songs, little scraps, maybe 15-20 seconds each, which I like and would like to take somewhere. But for the life of my, I can't.

Being in the bottom of this ditch is characterized by me listening to a ton of music I like and being completely jealous and hopelessly wishing for things to turn my way, instead of taking some time to do something about it. I try to emulate that music and fail, and get more upset.

By the way, whenever I've tried to write something about having writer's block (as is my inclination when I have writer's block - write what you know, etc.), it has turned out miserably. So no go on that idea. Maybe I just need to get out in "the world" more and pay attention, see what I see, and try to translate that somehow.

We'll see how it goes.

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2007-11-07T14:46:00.000-05:00

What is it, November now? I can't tell. There's no real weather where I live. Just a bit warm and then sometimes a bit cold and maybe it'll rain.

Let's see. Is there anything to write about, or is this just an exercise in boredom. I've got an Idea. More folks need to insert Capitalizations into their writing for emphasis, as opposed to bold and italics. Not that bold and italics are morally wrong, just that they are overused.

This is a horrible blog entry. I'm losing readers by the word. So I have to make the choice that many business owners have had to make in the past - do I cut my losses and run, or do I stick it out and try to turn this entry around? Most businesses who try to turn it around are really just drowning and should have cut it off when things started to turn south.

But wait.

[This is a message from Blogger. This blog has run out of funds and will henceforth become an advertising space for Pepsi's new Sierra Mist brand lemon-lime flavored carbonated soft drink beverage. Please "bear" with us! - The Management]

Listen.

2007-10-30T13:23:00.001-04:00

10 points to myself for a Kurt Vonnegut reference in the title of my post. Net gain of points: 0.

I am engaged. Both people reading this know that. One of them is the lovely lady to whom I am engaged. But I figured what is this blog if not a chronicle of things that happen to me to be read by people who already know what happened to me? So yes, engaged, and very happy.

Goodbye A-rod. Hello Girardi. Don't get rid of the young blood, Yankees. It will serve you well.

Send money to: me. Thank you.

BOG! L!

2007-10-22T11:54:00.000-04:00

Job progress: Wrote an article for Neil last week, and he classified me as a winner, which makes me feel good, and I think he wants to take me on full-time soon. Could be good stuff.

Music progress: Successfully wrote the worst set of lyrics. Very awful and funny. Trying to keep my chops in order.

Darjeeling progress: Limited. And also very great.

PGR2 progress: 3rd time through this very old game. I hate the American Muscle series with a passion reserved only for the things which I truly despise. I just want to get through that series of cars so I can have fun in that game again.

Bye guys!

THINGS

2007-10-15T16:16:00.000-04:00

Finished Ep. 2. Ruled. Can't wait for #3.

New Heroes tonight. Want some action, dammit.

Forgot to send in my timesheet by 12. Hopefully I get paid this week.

Got to finish Kitchen Confidential. Need to read more.

Got to finish Final Fantasy XII. So close, yet so far.

It's also about time to write a couple more tunes. I've been kicking some stuff around for a while, maybe this week I'll do some exploring of ideas.

Idea 1: What happens if you give a baby a gun? Did you ever wonder.

Idea 2: Elephants have parties...?

Idea 3: Answering a telephone with a racial slur.

These are just ideas.

NEWSNEWSNEWS

2007-10-12T11:13:00.000-04:00

Boy, do I have news for you - Radiohead has a new album! That's right, "u" heard it here first! "U" can find it here. It's super "kewl" "2" listen "2" on "ur" iPod, plus "u" can set "ur" own price and support experimental record distribution!! I didn't pay for it cuz I'm a cheap Asshole (see two posts down), but some dude (/company?) who really liked the idea payed $1,000 for it in support of their quiet revolution.

It's raining today in the Bay Area. It must be that time.

Basically Radiohead has been on my mind since Wednesday. Also the Orange Box. Finished up Portal last night. Pretty short, but also really really inventive and suprisingly funny. Valve has yet to miss the mark in a game. I'm sure they worked very hard on this, but the relationship they create in Portal between the player and their environment seems effortless and the result is fantastic.

Started Episode 2 last night and the environments and gameplay are starting to shift away from HL2 and Episode 1. Can't wait to see where it goes.

How exciting are my opinions. HOW EXCITING.

Tomorrow

2007-10-11T17:57:00.000-04:00

Come tomorrow, I will once again blog. Blog on my blog. Bloggily. Blog! Is this a bloggy font? Can't think of anyway to make blog into a pronoun, preposition or a conjunction...can you?

Been a while

2007-10-08T14:31:00.000-04:00

Sorry faithful readers. It's pretty incredible to think that I'm leaving 20,000+ readers out in the cold when I don't post my thoughts here. I know how many of you rely on me to interpret the world for you and provide you with your opinions on most of today's hot-button issues, and I'm sincerely sorry. But don't worry, in about 12 months, 'round election time, you can look here for all the right opinions to vote for!

This message brought to you by Me - I think so you don't have to!

Had a pretty swanky weekend, during most of which I was spending unspeakable amounts of money at extraordinarily lavish events all around the world. Money was no issue to me as I party-hopped from Paris to Hollywood to Milan and back again. I toasted with the smartest and most important people on the globe, and waiters received tips that were larger than their entire families' ten-year incomes. I was a King this weekend.

Somehow I also managed to partially cook and consume an autumn-based feast that lasted all of Saturday. Dining and boozing with good friends was something I sorely needed. Also, I learned that playing Cranium turns me into an Asshole. King or Asshole - a party weekend brought to you by yours truly.

Which story is the lie? Who is the real man behind the blog? King or Asshole - you make the call!

a: Asshole.

Welcome to a Job

2007-10-02T15:17:00.001-04:00

So if you'll kindly refer to my first post......

See it? Read it? Good.

Neil has decided to take a chance on my inexperienced ass, and for that I am extraordinarily grateful. He sees some potential in me in his line of work, and I am beginning to see it in myself. I have to rely on my genuine kindness and good-personitude and let these qualities shine forth like a beacon for all the world to see. Flashing, saying "stay away from the rocks, gentle captains... I will show you the way home." And in the warmth of my guiding light, the masses will feel comforted, respected, and worthwhile, and will want to put our press release in their trade publication.

Now it's time to look for another part-time position. Hopefully my current job down in Palo Alto will let me stay on while I find some more convenient workplace.

More about new ways of thinking in a bit.

'nother day, 'nother week, 'nother blog

2007-10-01T11:23:00.000-04:00

Satisfied with the weekend. Pretty great. Recorded a demo of that old new song I was telling myself about in this blog. The other boys in the band seem happy with it and excited to work on it. I can only see it going in great directions.

Gonna try to get my gym on later. Try to cut my pudge off at the start so I don't look pregnant by the time I'm 50 like a lot of older white men I know. Or maybe I should cultivate my belly, and really make the most of genetic inevitability.

I just cannot take myself seriously in these blogs. I have some mental block about writing serious things in this format, or even not so serious things. It can't act as a journal, cuz there is always the possibility that someone will actually read it. But no one does, so I'm just writing this weird semi-biographical yet non-diary-entry stuff for myself in this weird language that I never quite use except when I'm writing for other people. I only know one other person that reads this, and I could just talk to her most of the time. I guess this is necessary just to have a foot in the door in case Google awards all bloggers with some money just for being so cutting edge. But you know we'll never see that Google money. They just refuse to recognize our collective genius. No, we'll never get dollar one from Google. Not a single penny.

Is that bad joke funny yet, or should I keep going with it?

You make the call.

Guess the theme!

2007-09-28T17:17:00.000-04:00

Panel four, last sentence.

Panel three.

Panel four.

Panel four, final sentence.

What do I want to do right now at work, then later on in the night?

ANSWER AND WIN THE PRIZE.

If you guessed mild drinking, you win the prize.

Sports!

2007-09-27T17:39:00.000-04:00

As promised, our little operation here at Over-Analyzed has become the premiere spot for sports on the web. Congratulations!

So here is a post about sports. The football season started up recently, and some of the teams are doing pretty well. Others of the teams are not doing so well - tough luck to those guys!

No. This feels wrong. I have sold out. Just look at that font. Ick.

Keep blogging purely and honestly, everyone! This is the lesson of the day.

Because of this post, my blog will shortly become the #1 source of collected information about lessons for life. Stay tuned!

Walsh

2007-09-27T14:04:00.000-04:00

Saw Matt Walsh and Jeff Garlin, plus Seth Morris some other dudes, doing some improv over at Cobb's Comedy Club last night with the lady.

Yeah, the aformentioned dudes were not the titular bad dudes from the game, that was misinformation.

Anyway, the show was great, Walsh is a right-handed genius.

Also, Yankees came back from being super-awful to clinch a spot in the playoffs. Guess all that money has actually been doing something.

Signing off now. Return later, when, after breaking the startling and unique news that the Yanks clinched, this blog will have been transformed into the biggest sports site on the web.

Man.

Workin' on a new song

2007-09-26T12:10:00.000-04:00

See title. Pretty excited about it, just have to finish writing it to see if it's any good. Tentative title is "Out My Mind" and it is a two-part SAGA about two different topics loosely connected by only a few ideas. [sarcasm]One half is a biting social commentary, and the other half is a poignant tale of a lonely man.[/sarcasm]* While those are, non-sarcastically, the two halves of the song, I'm not conceited enough to praise myself so openly. Look how much better a man I am than a man who touts himself and brags about his own work. Right?

Good lord I am a bored little man today.

*It is important in this situation to ensure that the period is also sarcastic, or else your readers might not understand the full import of your sarcasm tag.

Brief After-Lunch Post

2007-09-25T15:15:00.000-04:00

If there's not a volume control on a media player, don't post all your audio on your website using that media player, Onion AV Club and Kevin Smith. That is all.

Title in an Incongruent Font

2007-09-25T11:05:00.000-04:00

Italics. For emphasis.

Regular text for just writing like normal.

Link to relevant website.

I wanted to embed a video that is no longer available, but I don't have the energy.

What a hoot!

The Real World Smells Like a Dentist's Office

2007-09-24T18:17:00.000-04:00

At least, my office does. And it is not a dentist's office. Perhaps it's just my current issues with the modern business world. My argument boils down to the fact that the vast majority of office work is neither cool nor fun. I could make it a lot more complicated, and I do have more complex thoughts about it, but that's the nitty gritty of the argument. But maybe I'm wrong.

Defining intent and scope, because I can't help but think about this: I intend this page to be primarily for my own uses, to exercise my brain and my fingers, to actually Produce a Thing every day, to feel somewhat creatively satisfied when not writing songs. It is also an opportunity for some friends to read what I'm saying and continue to be impressed by my whimsical prose.

Now that my aims are clear, I can breathe a bit easier.

Reading back over this, I think I should be funnier when I write cuz this is fuckin' bleak and serious. LOOK HOW FUNNY.

Twinkle Twinkle Blah Blah Blah

2007-09-24T12:06:00.000-04:00

Evidently there is a universe in which I am not writing a blog right now.

But this is not that universe. This is a universe with me writing this blog right now.

In this blog entry I will reveal that I was in a band in college called Sex Piano, and that we are due to reunite and try to make it in less than a year's time. I will go on to inadequately describe our band as heavily influenced by Ween, great pop and rock music, and a small amount of terrible music. At the point I fail to describe the music, I will direct you to the link on the right which takes you to our site, where you can hear some songs of ours. I will then say that the application on the site doesn't work on some networks, but if you can hear our tunes, then you are lucky. Then I will presumptuously assume that the band is working on trying to get some more audio up there, even though I haven't talked to the band about this. At that point I will let you know that we are working on some new songs, in a coast-2-coast capacity. I will even reveal the name of one - "Sad Skateboarder" - which is hopefully less jokey in execution than its title implies.

Apparently there is also (will also be?) a universe in which I decide not to make the entire post a lame paradox...but which universe is it? At the risk of not knowing what I'm talking about anyway, I will at that point end the post.

Thinkin' about postin'

2007-09-23T14:45:00.000-04:00

So I've been thinking about posting for the last couple days, trying to find an interesting lens through which to view the events in my life since Friday in order for me to feel like I'm contributing something unique to the ol' 'sphere. Blogo'. Well anyway, watched the first two seasons of Mr. Show on Friday. It's great how non-stop smart and funny they are, especially considering what passes for comedy on primetime television. That is a pretty boring thing to say about maybe the funniest show that's ever been on TV. Bob and David link to the right will lead you to what the Mr. Show dudes are currently up to.

Friday night was called by my bud Matt to go to an Arcade Fire show on short notice, down Mountain View way. They have made pretty good use of their fame, I'd say, overcoming the obvious obstacles of performing for a giant amphitheater though inventive stage and show design. I assume that it was pretty intimate to be in the front row, perhaps like enjoying a private concert with 13 or so of your best and most talented friends. But from way back on the grass area, where there is naturally very little intimacy, the private concert was replaced by an interesting light show and a beautifully ominous tableau which could not truly be appreciated from a "good" seat. This is a pretty poor description, and I'm sure I could do a good job of this if I were paying more attention. The question - should I come back and edit this, or just put it up and get on with my life because no one is reading this anyway.

Decision made.

A Child is Born

2007-09-21T14:40:00.000-04:00

About an hour ago, my sister had her second child. I am now a proud uncle five times over.

Initial Over-Analysis

2007-09-21T13:54:00.001-04:00

Personal blogs are dumb right? This is the premise on which I am building this thing, and this is the template by which it will be run. Which means, of course, that it will end up having nothing to do with the content of the posts or anything contained herein.

I consider everything about the personal blog funny. What compounds this is the fact that I'm now embarking on a fairly serious personal blog.

This font is funny.

Credit where it's due - Neil Vineberg, of Vineberg Communications, convinced me to take the plunge and become a blogger. Recently met with Neil himself, as he is thinking of taking me on as a West Coast consultant for his PR company. I assume I'll get into this more in a later post, as I go on and fulfill my blogging duty by complaining about my current temp job (read: not Neil's potential position, my current job). I see the masses lining up to read about that. "A dude who doesn't like his job," they think as they wait behind thousands of others thinking the same thing (which I guess makes this line infinitely long if everyone is behind thousands of people...) "What an interesting thing to blog about. I wonder if he's as upset with his great life as I am." But here it is, for better or for worse. I expect a readership of over 2,000 by the end of next week.

Ok now that my first post sucks and has gone off the deep end, time to finish it here. I expect I will post later today - taking a day off from work to meet with Neil and have a meeting with four seasons of Mr. Show which my lovely girlfriend got me for my birthday.

nk