Thursday, December 18, 2008

Manny?

Usually, Manny Ramirez sends unpublished chapters of his autobiography to my friend's blog, but for some reason he sent one over here today. Oh, Manny. (ed. Zack's blog is really great, you should read it, it is so great, he's the one that came up with Manny Ramirez, he invented the baseball player on his blog.)

Chapter 100

It is 4:13 AM, 100 years in the future. It is a world without Manny Ramirez, yet I am there to see it. I stop at a toy store, to look in at a child. He wants a toy, but his mother is not letting him get that toy. I think it is a plastic gun, but I don't get a good look. His mother's rejection passed through the boy, and instead, Manny Ramirez feels rejected. I need to move on.

The next place I stop is a home. There is a spider's web on the outside of the home. I brush it away with disgust. I should never have stopped at this filthy home.

As the sun crests the hills of this suburban town, I feel my body dissolving, like water in a desert. I float into the air, a million pieces of Manny Ramirez overlooking the countryside. We float from town to town, seeing the same world from a million different angles. We, Manny Ramirez.

It is too long since we have ranged this far. Too long since we have hunted. We are Manny Ramirez, and each one of us could hit 55 home runs in a season.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Music Blogs

I have created what a music blog is like in my head, but on the internet! Check it out, and see if it is accurate.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Rudy says Please listen to me.


Hey. Guy. Buddy. Give me another chance. No, I really felt like you gave me a raw deal on Monday! I'm more than just a guy who doesn't know what INTERNET is. (What does that stand for anyway? Man, I'll never understand it!) That's just what you asked me to do here. This is all your fault! You ask me here to talk about how little Blog I understand, and then just write me off because it didn't pan out the way you'd hoped! Well, sir, let me tell you a little biography about me, Rudy.

My name is Rudy, and while it is true that I have never understood INterNET, there are many other things I haven't understood over my55-year life. Love, seasonal change, the causes of the Civil War, why U2 is so famous, how they make towels, recycled paper, batteries, what butter is, tectonic plates, time-lapse photography, the non-visible parts of the electromagnetic spectrum, how they make all the pages in the magazines stay there without all falling out all over the place, rubber bands - this is just a small list of things that I don't understand!

My life is just a long list of missed experiences and inability to care about things long enough to learn what's actually happening in the world. This is why I am a businessman from the 70's, when all you needed to be successful was a father who was a businessman in the 50's. I don't understand the money that I exchange withe other businessmen, I don't understand how stocks work, all I know is that sometimes I get on the phone with someone who has put their business card into my hand and say a bunch of jargon, and somehow that means that I get paid. The money I make mainly goes towards magazines - I can't get enough of magazines! I like all the pictures, and I don't at ALL understand anything about how they are made.

I am Rudy, and this is my life. I have over 2000 magazine subscriptions.

Monday, December 1, 2008

December

I know what you guys are thinking: "Wow, it's been a while since that last post, bro. You must be into some serious type stuff." I say, to you guys: "No. I am just lazy. I'm literally home in front of the computer almost all the time, I just don't have the energy to think of something clever." You guys are now thinking: "Oh."

So here is my triumphant return - a new feature! It is called "Mondays with Rudy." Let's welcome Rudy.


Hello, Blog! I have heard a lot of things about you in the Wall Street Journal. I have, even, invested a modest amount of my wealth into Technology Stocks, which benefit Blog directly, in terms of money. That is, I have given you money on Blog.

I will tell you the truth. I do not know what Blog really means. This is why I am here. I think I have a fundamental misunderstanding of how Technology even in general works, per se. So I want the Intranet (is that the same as Blog Internet?) to go easy on me, and let me learn very slowly. I am writing this letter to Nick, hoping that he can convert it to Blog.


Okay Rudy. You are not being very funny today. You are a crappy premise. Of course you don't understand the Internet, you are a businessman from the 70's. You didn't grow up with it, and you don't have children, so you'll never really understand it. I get it. How much comedy can we draw from you confusing "Internet" and "Blog" anyway. Whatever, Rudy. We'll see if you're still around on Monday.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Fantasy books

Why come in fantasy and sci-fi books, authors ruin otherwise interesting worlds by naming things the dumbest thing they can think of? I am reading a pretty good fantasy book right now, but in order to portray that things aren't the way they were on earth (the book is set on a fantasy world colony of earth) normal items have dumb prefixes to constantly remind you that you're not reading about earth. Unhorse? Alteroak? Neocount? Neoqueen?

Stop using dumb words just keep telling me about your awesome magic system and story dammit.

Monday, November 10, 2008

From the Desk of Cl. and Sp. Notes, Bros. at Large

I just got the internet letter from two imaginary people. Read it!

Dear Mr. N. Notes,

You should know what we understand what it is you are said to doing in our name. You should also know that it is our name and that is how we get away with it. Notes, I mean. Our name is Notes. That is how we avoid not only lawsuits but vigilante murders by ourselves, if you know what I'm getting at.

(Note: What Notes means here is simply that he is threatening Nick for using the family name. The language here indicates that there is an underlying reason for Notes' anger - namely, that his business is now in trouble due to Nick's superb emulation of the Notes' style of book-shortening.)

Whoops that was my instinct just kicking in. Anyway, cease and desist right now or else there will be consequences.

With promises of legal and/or vigilante action,

Cliff Notes, Brother at Large.

PS I loved your work on Moby-Dick!

Do not worry gentle readers, I am not intimidated by fake characters coming to life and unleashing their baseless legal action on me.

It wouldn't be the first time, and I did fine for myself last time. Stay tuned.

A Scene

Midnight - The Offices of the Notes Brothers, Cliff and Spark

Cliff: Spark, I'm almost done removing the beauty and grace from the latest Cormac McCarthy so that students can get good grades without doing any work.

Spark: Would you just shut up Cliff! First! Don't state our mission so openly, do you want to get us killed? Second! Some internet asshole just made his own version of us!

Cliff: I'm sure it's nothing, don't overreact like you always do to everything.

Spark: Would you just come over here and read it DAMMIT!

Cliff moseys over and reads Nick's Notes on Moby Dick.

Cliff: Damn, this guy's good. If we don't act, he could ruin our empire. It's like he sees right through us.

Spark: You know what to do Cliff. Just what Father Notes taught us. Take no prisoners.

TO BE CONTINUED

Moby-Dick Spoiler Alert!

(Side-question - do you need to say spoiler alert when the book came out 157 years ago? I think that's a long enough grace period, but anyway.)

Welcome to this edition of Nick's Notes - Moby Dick!

(Apologies to Cliff's Notes and Spark Notes, please don't sue me okay?)

Call me Ishmael. I assume you know a lot about the Bible and mythology? Good. I wanted to go to sea some time ago, so I found a pagan named Queequeg to ship off with. We formed a strangely homoerotic relationship that doesn't quite resurface until the very end, and then only in metaphor. Anyway, we both wanted to go to sea, so we went on this boat and there was this eloquently crazy captain who didn't even come on deck for like a few months. But then he did come out and he only had one leg! The other was a whale bone or something.

Ahab (the captain with one leg) told us that a whale had bitten the other leg off, and that we were hunting that one whale (Moby Dick). Ahab bound the crew to this through a near-religious ceremony. This was all recounted with great prose by me, Ishmael.

Then I decided to explain every aspect of the whaling industry in a pretty awesome way, every now and then injecting some story into it.

We met some other boats, and asked them all if they knew where this crazy whale was, and only a couple had heard of him. Oh man, then the story really ramps up at the end, when I finish explaining all the whaling stuff and it's just story. I say some Biblical metaphors. Queequeg gets sick and almost dies, and gets the carpenter to build him a coffin, but then Queequeg gets better and we decide to use the coffin for a life-buoy after we waste on of our life-buoys on some guy who fell off the boat and died. Then with like 20 pages left, we see Moby Dick. He kicks the boat's ass completely for three whole days, and at the end everyone but me dies because he completely shatters our boat. I float to safety on Queequeg's coffin. Contemporary literary criticism is mixed, but eventually most people who read my book like it a lot.

Congratulations! You've just heard a retelling of Moby Dick which takes out all the beautiful language and complex metaphors and imagery and humor! That is not at all what the book is like, which is why Cliff's Notes and Spark Notes should go out of business.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

RIP Pequod

Finished up Moby Dick this morning, and I'm still processing it. I think I will be for some time, actually. It is not a tale that you easily forget. Every page is so drenched with meaning that one could think about it for the rest of one's life. I'm sure there are people like this, because one way to describe this thing is Biblical. A story of revenge, morality, history, retribution, and the multi-faceted realities of human nature.

It is beyond comprehension the first time 'round. It is simultaneously a very simple story and an extremely complex epic. I'm proud of myself for getting through it, and I'm sure I will do it again when I'm ready.

On Monday, Jess and I are going out to our alma mater with our recently-booked wedding photographer to do what's called an engagement session, even though we've been engaged for over a year. It's really more a chance to get some good professional pictures of ourselves in a more casual setting, to get used to being the center of attention in front of a camera, and to maybe get some pictures we can use for wedding stuff. It helps that we negotiated the price a bit and essentially got this upcoming session for free. Should be fun to document our enjoyment of each other.

I guess this may not be the place for this - such a place exists elsewhere on the internet - but there it is.

Oh and I got a haircut at an actual place for like the first time in 5 years. Evidently my haircut is modeled after Cary Grant. Whatever. I am clean cut for a change, and I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

Friday, November 7, 2008

November Time

Well November has been looking up. It's a month of things to come for me, not a month of in-the-present rewards. I've had a couple job interviews, but no offers. A potentially great president has been elected, but has not been sworn in. Band is writing and performing, in hopes of building momentum. I would like to say the joy is in the search but it's only true for the band. Not having a job sucks a little more every day. Pretty soon, it's applications to Borders, Barnes and Noble, Whole Foods, what have you, just to break even until something else comes along.

Almost done with Moby Dick. Really getting good now. It was good before, but now it's becoming something else entirely.

The "new" Dylan is awesome. I've been listening to the man for about 3 days straight, mostly the recent stuff, but this man is not going anywhere.

Everyone (ie my bandmate and my fiancee, and a couple of my friends) come to out show on Wednesday, ok?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Questionne

Q: Why isn't dog litter a thing?*

A: Because any creature that eats its own poop, realizes what it tastes like, then eats its own poop again cannot care too much about the cleanliness of poop.

*I know that it exists, but it is not widely used, nor will it ever be.


In sports news, THE HORNETS BEAT THE WARRIORS!!! 1-0 baby!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

To Sophie

I've got a cat on my lap. She is sleeping when she is not trying to eat my fingers.

Can't you see I need these fingers to type to everyone I know, Cat? No, you are asleep, and you have no idea what a blog even is. You just know how to yell whenever you enter or leave a room and eat. You are a lazy hunter, and that is why you are gaining weight. Because you don't like to run after the cat toy. You just sleep all day, then all night, eat, and you never want to chase your toy. I didn't want to say it - none of us did - but we think it's time for you to go on a diet of Diet Cat Food.

But that is for another day. For now you are sleeping like an adorable Cat Angel on my lap, and you get a free pass for being lazy, because you are so cute and precious.


The Cat candle burns at both ends, Sophie, and I am powerless.

Monday, October 27, 2008

TGIM

You heard me right. It's Monday, and Thank God It's. The last week of this Month of our Lord October. Every day is like Friday when you don't have a job, except you don't get paid every day like you do on Friday, if you get paid every week, and payday is Friday.

Got this house party coming up on Friday, then we have to get ready real quick for our real show in 2.5 weeks.

This bores me, plus I've already said it in the blog.

I was thinking that the blog might be the ideal form for me since I rarely have any creative ideas that last more than a couple paragraphs before I don't know where to take them anymore. I've finished one short story in the last 3 years, and it's 4.5 pages long. I think writing songs suits me better, cuz there's only like 3 or 4 minutes to worry about then it's over. It's a more manageable length of time. I don't understand how people write novels.

Only about 100 pages left in Moby-Dick, or The Whale. Just leafing through and looking at some of the chapter titles, it's looking like Melville is trying to get all the exposition in before getting to the final actions. It's actually really exciting to read, like he wants to include all this informational stuff about whaling but he is growing a bit impatient himself and wants to reach his glorious encounter.

Another thing that might stop people from reading the book is this: Not too much happens, but it's very long. Thus, the language to describe the action must be very dense. It's intimidating. It's not like The Old Man and the Sea, where not a lot happens and it's not very long, and the language is very direct. It's very easy to lose yourself while reading Moby-Dick, and, in thinking about a certain sentence, completely gloss over a page before you realize you haven't processed what you've read. An altogether interesting reading experience.

This post (not funny) was brought to you by a bored unemployed man.

Friday, October 24, 2008

The Road

Just hunkered down for the day and read The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Bleak, post-apocalyptic, at times downright frightening, and pretty damn amazing. Right up my alley, really. The best part of humanity struggling in the face of all odds imaginable, including the worst part of humanity. Really amazing. More grit, resourcefulness, and will than I have, for sure.

Anyway, as if Oprah's recommendation hasn't sold it to you all, I'm throwing in mine as well. Watch as the sales boom.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Jobs

Just had an interview here.

More as it develops.

Did I tell you guy(s?) that the band is playing here on November 12?

Whatever!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Question of the Day

Q: How many brides who shared names with the women listed in Lou Bega's Mambo #5 played that song at their wedding in 1999/2000 and got too excited when he said their name?

A: Quite a few, I'd guess.

On a side note, I bet Lou Bega is a goddamn creep.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Revelation

Look closely at this picture of former Soviet dictator Josef Stalin:

Now take a look at 1/2 of Mr. Show, comedian Bob Odenkirk:
Now look at my poor photoshop skills - do you see what I see?They kind of look like each other!

The trip to the career lady went ok. No real leads. Looks like I actually have to try to find a job still. Damn.

My Career!

This morning I am meeting with the career office at my old college to try to get my work life in order. What I expect from this meeting:

ME: So, this economy is pretty much boned, can you find a job that I like that requires my specific skill set?

THE LADY AT THE CAREER OFFICE: I hear there is an opening for Vomit-After-Too-Much-Free-Cheese Cleaner at the Whole Foods near you?

So those are pretty low expectations.

In all seriousness, though, I don't know what this woman is going to tell me, but I can only hope it's stuff that I haven't already been doing. That would be disheartening.

THE LADY AT THE CAREER OFFICE: Yeah your best bet is just to check craigslist like a fiend and apply for anything you're qualified for, and some stuff that you're not.

ME: (Aside) Dammit.

I'll keep you posted.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Fall Time

It is fall here, first fall in three years for this guy, and it feels great. The lady just made up a delicious breakfast of French toast that is already feeling like an awesome lifelong recipe for comforting days.

Let's see if I can find an interesting picture to put up. On my blog.

Here's a good one:

Jess and I went to Maui with her parents a couple years ago, and this is me and her watching the sunset from the condo we stayed at. Awesome.

Here is another sunset, this time from a restaurant we were eating at. Maui again. Awesome again.

Hmm. Those pictures don't have anything to do with fall. Let's see.

Here we go. Sort of. On the way to my bro's rehearsal dinner in Massachusetts. We missed peak leaf season by a couple weeks, but it still felt good.

This post is not funny. Too bad. Deal with it.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Finished the game

Just finished the whole stupid game.

You can see how he leans forward to land the jump.

My ass is still asleep.

Another follow up

Oh would you look at that, I could have turned the bad music off at any point. Now I can race through this junkyard listening to The Band.

Follow up post.

dammit i hate when the "difficulty" of a bad game is based on not being able to tell the background of the game from the actual playing area so you crash your hummer into a brick wall that you thought you were driving past dammit.

I will never ride a motorcycle in real life.

Okay so I play all those awful 2D side scrolling "Motorcycle" or "Offroad" or "Truckyard" or whatever games on addicting games. Like this one. Anyway, I play them all, I am playing one right now, and I really don't know why I play them all. They are so bad, the music is so bad. I guess something about the physics (sort of) of landing tricks in a motorcycle makes sense to me, even when applied completely unnessarily to hummers and jeeps and stuff.

Lean forward to land that trick!

I was also really into this game for a long time, and in fact it is a great game. Oh shit no way Wikipedia says there's a sequel, maybe that's what I was into. Or I have to buy it. No I was definitely into the sequel never mind.

My cat has taken two naps on my lap today while I've been on the computer and both times my ass has fallen asleep because I don't want to move and wake her up.

Back to bad offroad in-browser games peace.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Best* Post Ever

I've spent at least 11 days crafting this fantastic post I'm about to drop on you guys

Ready?

#%error%#

#%there_has_been_an_error_you_guys!%#

#%it_seems_like_nick_got_a_bit_drunk_a_bit_too_
early_in_the_night_and_is_now_going_to_spend_
time_with_his_lady_before_turning_in_too_early_
for_a_saturday%#

What was that?

On a separate note, did you guys see that blogger now understands what default font means? I'm in Courier now without having to do anything!

Great! Another trip to the ol' orchard today, delicious goddamn cider.

Adios.



*maybe not the best in history, but pretty good right?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Why isn't it spelled FARVE?

I would like Ray's house to be a real place, where I could always want to go and grill it up, enjoy a couple of beers in the sunshine, go swimming, and cap off the day at 2 am by watching Braveheart. Onstad you have really created something fantastic.

Unemployed day 1:
Got up at 6am to see my lady off to work, at some breakfast, tidied my desk up some, watched an ep of Stella, consolidated some bank accounts, bought some delicious sausage at Reading Terminal Market, applied to 3 jobs, played a little bit of fake risk in Middle Earth, finished watching Pan's Labyrinth for the first time, did some dishes, got irrationally angry about some things, calmed down, made delicious dinner using the delicious sausage, watched an ep of Arrested Development, wrote a blog post.

New section of the blog! It is called "Moby Dick Pages of the Day" (MDPD)! It is a chronicle of how many pages of Moby Dick I read since last time I blogged. Today's number is uncertain, probably like 4 or 5 before bed last night.

My brother is getting married on Saturday.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sharing is Caring.

Here is a video I think you'll love!

There it is!

In honor of this man I will do a caption ok?


Flowers: If we reach out farther we can gently wake him up and tell him we love him.
Backpack strap: Back off this is my man he is my man!
Flowers: You never loved him! We will care for his needs!
Backpack strap: Back off or I will kill you!
Flowers: We have just talked to each other and find your manly bravado much more appealing than that guy's alcoholism - will you sleep with us?
Backpack strap: Ok cool I hope you guys don't mind some pencils and all that weird dust that happens at the bottom of a bookbag. That is my house I am sorry for the shape it is in the maid was supposed to come.

"Intolerable Allegory"

Ok, right?

So I am writing, unpaid, for this music magazine and I am doing an interview with a man from this band on Thursday. This is a strange process, because, though they might not be my cup of tea, they are certainly a band that is enjoyed by folks. My strategy in preparing for this interview has been to try and take the band at completely face value and try to evaluate the music on its own level, within the context of its genre, to try and understand how it fits in the grand scheme of things. I've been able to do this a little bit, and I'm hoping the interview goes ok. More info as it comes and linx to the article when it's up.

Oh man I also don't have a job! This is great because people are just throwing money and jobs around these days. This will not be a blog about a man who is upset that he doesn't have some job. There are men like this every place, maybe women too.

Instead this blog is about. I don't know. This is the main struggle of a man with a blog and no purpose. Oh! This is a blog about a man who doesn't have a job who also doesn't know what his blog is all about! That is interesting to complain about because of its complexity of things the man doesn't have or know about.

Moby Dick is still very great, looks like I have some time on my hands to really read the shit. I'll probably just end up watching movies like an asshole though.

Oh Well Goodbye!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Oh man.

So I am completely listening to "Powderfinger" by Neil Young. You should also be listening to this song, right now. Considering that I am by far the person who looks at my blog the most, I will follow my own instructions. Wow, Nick, this song is really great, thanks for the recommendation. This is great.

I turned 25 two days ago. Just so you know. Even though you already do know, as you're me.

Also, I just got an email back from this Philadelphia music mag who might want me to write for them, without monetary compensation. I am down. Experience is experience, and it would be sick to be the best music journalist eventually, right? Anyway, I'm talking to them this week, I (me) will let you (me) know what happens.

Here is a picture.

It is of where I am getting married. Have a nice day.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Farewell to Henry. Plus, Fall!

So the final rally of Henry Truman's 2008 campaign for the seat of City Co-Chair has come to its downbeat and very bizarre conclusion. Show 3 was by far the least well-attended, and once again we were plagued by people sitting down. It didn't help that we were a bit giddy from three weeks of nearly identical shows, and were laughing a bit more and stretching out the awkward moments, thereby alienating the few souls who chose to stand. It went out with a strange whimper rather than a bang, but in many ways was the funniest of the three shows. Anyway, here's a couple photos to document the evening:

The best back-to-back-to-back of all three shows.

Moody.

So ends the current saga of Henry Truman. I fully expect that the man will be back at some point, at some unspecified date in the future. That's the kind of man he seems like to me.

It's getting on fall-time, my favorite time of year, which I have missed so sorely being in California these past couple years. So I'm trying to spring on every opportunity this area gives me to experience the glory of Autumn. So it was that, yesterday, though it was a sticky 94 degrees outside, the lady and I trekked out to Linvilla Orchards to get a bit of farm air and some fresh vegetables. Oh yes, and delicious delicious apple cider:

Tiny, but effective.


It was really necessary to get out of the city for a while. Lame as it sounds, it was a centering experience. I feel more focused on all fronts, eager to face the future with a renewed sense of purpose. I think this city gets me into a cycle of stagnation and sameness, and maybe regular trips out of its borders and into some greenery, where you can see the sky unhindered and can smell things other than pavement and garbage, can really do a man good. That is my hypothesis, and I'm excited to test it.

Here is the result of the fresh vegetable shopping. We also picked up a couple of decorative pumpkins and gourds, and settled down for a nice, fresh, delicious dinner.

Delicious, grillicious sandwiches.

Very few things are better than fresh, grilled zucchini. That is all.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Henry Truman, Mark 2. Also, more Dick.

Another round of the Henry Truman show this weekend. Can I just say how much better it was than last week. Last time 'round, everyone was sitting and most people were well past drunk. This killed energy. This time we set it up so that maybe 35-40 people could be standing, and the difference was night and day. We had also tightened the story-line a bit so it was a more cohesive show, but the standing-room decision was maybe the smartest initiative in the whole campaign. We played better because people were more immediately involved in what was happening on stage. This made the audience more excited, and created an escalating-energy-feedback-loop.

Here are a couple pictures of the night
:

Singin' 'bout Henry.

Baseball, y'all. Baseball.

If everyone that read this tells just one person to come on Friday for the finale, then 2 people will come next week. That is a lot! Of people I mean!

Also we are getting a dude we knew in college to film the shows, so hopefully there will be some sort of DVD/web video of this epic campaign rally. More on this when it maybe happens.

A word or two on Moby Dick and the Pequod Cadets.

I am now in the chapter called "Cetology", which is essentially Melville's attempt to inject some knowledge into his Great American Novel. He's teaching us all about different sorts of whales and what they mean to the whaling community and to the world at large. I've given myself over completely to the Moby Dick experience, and this primes me to be very interested in sections like this. It may look on the surface like dry, encyclopaedic writing, but, though it is primarily an informational section, Melville still has a sweeping drama in his prose that shines through here. Like the rest of the book thus far, it is a really strange mixture of seemingly discordant elements. "Beautiful reference" is a phrase I had never thought of before.

Also, Melville's slow introduction of Ahab is really really really great. Can't wait til he busts out with a grand speech.

Anywho, enjoy your [length of time until my next post]. More Sex Piano news as it develops.

Monday, September 1, 2008

We doin' this!

Okay, "all"... September is a month of rebirth. Here goes.

First of all, I forgive this man for stealing my name and actually doing a blog with it. Turns out his blog is much better than mine, and also has more to do with his title than mine ever did...plus it can actually be called a "blog", whereas mine is basically a place where sometimes I say I am about to go out to dinner when I feel dumb for not having bothered to write anything for a whole month. So Kudos, enjoy all the traffic that I never deserved.

You may recall a while back that I said something about a band I was in - I am still in this band. We just kicked off our tenure as a live band in Philadelphia with a highly ambitious, multimedia project revolving around a fake politician. The first of three shows was a success, and hopefully next week's will be even better. Here are three pictures from the evening:



I like them best left unexplained.

GEAR SHIFT

I recently started reading this book, and now I find myself always wanting to read it.

I'm on Chapter 15 of 135, about 50 pages in. Some thoughts.

I'd always just assumed this book was really hard to read. It's long, and any time it was brought up, there was a mysterious aura around it, as if the world was saying "Don't even try it - too dense, not enough payoff." Maybe it's that first sentence that is so daunting - "Call me Ishmael." Three simple words, easy to understand, but loaded with a hundred and fifty years of literary significance and over 2000 years of biblical baggage. I suspect those three words are the most famous opening line in American literature simply because most people read them, stopped at the period, and closed the book, petrified of what could possibly lie ahead if those three words could mean so damn much.

This could be complete bullshit. It's probably more that it's a long book with a slightly older form of English than we're used to, and it takes a long time to get to the part with the whale. As I said earlier, 135 chapters, and almost all the actual whale-hunting action is in the final three, from what I can discern from the chapter titles. There's also the fact that Melville takes some very long and seemingly unrelated detours along the way to the battle with the whale - the three chapters on visual depictions of whales, and the two chapters on the shapes of whales' heads, for instance. That is enough to turn anyone off if they're not in exactly the right mood to take the trip along with Ishmael.

Fortunately for me, I was hooked after one paragraph. That first paragraph is not only wrought with rich symbolism, it speaks beautifully to the power of the ocean and is also hysterically funny. I hadn't realized just how funny the book is - I think that if I'd known how effortlessly Melville switches between very deep and moving passages and downright funny writing, I would have been more inclined to read this beast of a book.

The point is, this book is taking over my literary life. Extended meditations on the sea and its power are spectacular. The patience of the story-telling, and Melville's willingness to make the mundane fascinating, is really amazing.

The book is not about a fight with the white whale - it's about the long, complex journey to get to him.

And also about how to tell a right whale's head from a sperm whale's head.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Photoz

Hey "everybody", here are some photos I just took today for some fun. The first is of my new cat, Sophie, taking a nap and wisely shielding her young eyes from harmful UV rays. The second is a grill I just put together so we can do some damn grilling these next few months. The final picture is one I like to call "The Poor Bartender" and shows the current state of our bar. We like margaritas, so that is ok with us.

Better than sunglasses.

With my own bare hands.

"The Poor Bartender"

Also, did you know that I got a temp job. And my fianceé got a real permanent job. Did you know that. Now you do. I need a real job so then we can bathe in money, an action known in some circles as "true happiness." I have never been "truly happy", so I look forward to this. Carry on.

Okay.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Waste of Time and Space

July is not the month of my glorious blog rebirth. Nor is it, evidently, the month in which I get a job.
Suck.
Dinner time y'all. Dinner time.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Ponies, etc.

Maybe I should write more in this blog.
Two posts in one day perhaps.
Will it ever happen?
Blog? Blogging? To have blogged?

Here is a picture of a pony: Yay!

Thought of the day: Someday, that cool pony will have already died. Will that day have already been yesterday by the time you read this?

Science will never know the answer to these pressing questions.

But I do.

That pony isn't dead probably. Yet.

Hi.

It is July.

I am about to go to a job interview.

Then I will do nothing in the afternoon.

- a poem by a man that mirrors my situation exactly

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Obligatory June Post

Here is a post in the month of June. Now living in Philadelphia, seeing what it's like to be unemployed for a little while. Who needs income anyway right?

In band news, we have a few shows lined up in August/September for the Philly Fringe Festival. We are staging a mock political rally/rock and roll extravaganza that's sure to potentially get folks all stirred up and excited. Maybe. We're in the writing stages now, and things are starting to take shape. Foundations for 4 of 7 songs, and a good little story arc to follow. More updates when more happens, but it should be fun. And you, internet, should come see it.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Dear Internet,

In two days I am moving across the country to Philadelphia, PA.

Your friend,

Nick

PS 1-10 scale - how much has this blog sucked these past few months? Two answers - 10 - it sucked not being able to read your half-formed witticisms and ideas! -or- 1 - it didn't suck at all because the internet is better off without you and your stupid blog - i bet you haven't even followed through on writing that story you were talking about.

too true

Monday, March 24, 2008

An Excerpt and a Note

Here, to prove that I have been writing a very little bit, are an Excerpt from the story and a Note I wrote myself to include somewhere in the story:

Excerpt:

"leaving my neighbors to reach their shuddering climaxes without an audience"

Note:

"read the Grapes of Wrath instead of this story"

Also, now it's time for a plot twist from an unrelated story that hasn't been told, or even conceived of, at the present moment:

"Turns out the step-father had it in the closet, and had been lying about accidentally killing the dog to his step-son, whom he never really loved."

And with that, I leave you.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I have started to write a story

A break from the hilarious absurdity in very short, widely-spaced bursts you've come to expect from this blog.

Jess and I had a brief conversation about religion, etc., on the ride home from work yesterday, which got me thinking about what the hell it is that I even believe. Then later she showed me a blog post about writing, with the advice of letting your guard down and just fucking writing something without too much worry of how it will be received by anyone who happens to read it.

To that end, I have started to write a short story. At the moment, I have no idea what the particulars of the story are, but that I want it to be about how damn interesting people of any and every stripe are, from the most mundane to the most extraordinary, from our potential for unquestioning good acts to our prediliction for unspeakable evil. A deeper theme will probably be that, despite all the horrid and unspeakable things we do every day, I somehow maintain great hope for humanity that cuts through all my post-modern cynicism. This hope, I'm starting to think, is as close to religious as I can come these days. People are evil twisted manipulative assholes, and isn't that great?

Anyway, now it seems I'm firing on a lot of different cylinders. Of course, music remains the "side" pursuit that excites me the most. I've also started to dabble a bit in trying to write some comedy with a particular interest in things that are filmed, and now this story. Let's see if I can't keep it all in the air somehow.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Sigh....leap year

Wow, so no one really told me the reality of leap year. As you can tell, I was really excited about the prospect of, man, 24 more hours in my year! Freebee! But I really had no idea what I was getting into.

I had so many plans. I was going to have a party, for one. No one showed up. It was just me, a small keg of homebrewed beer that I named "Leapy", and a huge basket full of fried frogs legs ("leap" - get it?) Pretty disappointing, to say the least.

I was also going to carouse the streets, giving everyone what I assumed was the widespread "Leap Year Greeting." But whenever I approached someone by jumping in front of them and yelling "Hell of a day, my main man!", they seemed at best annoyed and at worse outraged. I expected the typical return greeting ("And a howdy leapy hoe to you!") but all I got were a range of sour expressions. After the fortieth or fiftieth person I greeted in such a jubilant manner, I returned home, dejected and utterly defeated.

So here is my lesson to you. Leap Year is a false holiday, maybe because it is the only practical holiday that exists. Every few years we need an extra day to knock our calendar back in order, and Leap Year serves no other purpose than make sure that our cycles stay intact. If it was just a made up holiday, like New Year's or Valentine's Day, people would probably want to celebrate it a lot more.

I guess I just expected too much out of people.

This post, and the character who wrote it, suck.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

HOLY CRAP

LEAP YEAR TOMORROW! This is huge! Do you know how AMAZING that is?????



I don't. I do know that our calendar would be screwed without it, though, so let's all take a moment to give some props to LEAP YEAR.



This happened recently, and was better than expected. After almost 2 years of not playing together at all, we brought it all together in a matter of days and straight-up kicked a ton of asses. Now if all goes according to plan, or even not really according to plan, we will be able to kick more tons of asses in the months to come. More on progress of that when things actually happen.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Time has passed

Evidently blogging hasn't been on my things to do list in '08. Forgive my colloquialism - when I speak of " '08 ", I mean the year 2008. Apologies to anyone I have confused and driven away. Please come back.

Second season of Tim and Eric: Awesome Show, Great Job just came to a close. Success. They did it. I think they have like 20 more episodes in their contract, so we're halfway there right now.

I'm playing back through Shadow of the Colossus and BioShock simultaneously. Great games both, and there's some good literature on them out there. Spoilers, etc. Zack, if you want the end of Shadow or BioShock to have meaning, don't read these til you're done. SotC: Link Number One, Link Number Two, Link Number Three. BioShock: Only Link.

It's been a while since an interesting thought was posted on this damn thing. Does this mean I have become an idiot? I guess s

Friday, January 4, 2008

The best nature programming

If only Planet Earth had a segment on this. This is a video from way back, but it is still damn cool.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

BIG NEWS

Someone changed all the year numbers everywhere! We don't know why this happened, we have our best investigators on the case, we are as scared as we're sure you all are.

For some reason all the dates end in 8 now.

This story is in development.

My producers are telling me I am an idiot apparently? More on this development shortly...

No that doesn't make sense, producers, the dates don't all change to 8 every year, or else I would already know about it.

Oh.

Not the 8 part, the change part. Gotcha.

Ok, apparently the numbers at the end of dates go up sequentially every few months, and this has been happening for some time.

Forever?

Then why are we only on 2008?

There are backwards numbers too?

This just in. Years are dumb, everyone. So is this post. Nothing changes.

Happy new year.